I have a question for you gals.
Do you feel pressure (either from your husband, or other congregation members) to be one of few Sunday School teachers because nobody else will step up to the plate?? Let me share my situation and why I am asking this question...
Right now we have about 15 kids spanning the age of 3 years old-8th grade in our SS. and because of the lack of volunteers for teachers, we have all of those ages divided into 2 classes. I teach the little ones and another lady teaches the older ones. It has been just the two of us for several years now. I am getting VERY tired of teaching and more importantly missing Bible Class week after week. With having 3 children IN Sunday School I feel a little compelled to teach...but all of the time???
Just recently one other mom has helped me teach the little kids on occasion, but on those weeks, I direct the bigger kid hand chime choir (this is the ONLY time I have to direct them and so I still miss Bible Class) My husband has said he would tell the congregation that if we don't get teachers, there won't be Sunday School...but honestly, that doesn't help me with my desire to attend Bible Class, because without Sunday School, I will have to take my kids home and then I will still miss Bible Class.
So is this something that you all face too...is this a dilemma that you have...or am I being selfish in my desires. I give of my time in many ways other than teaching SS...I direct the adult and children choirs (3 total), direct the Children's Christmas Program, and I head up VBS. So what is it like in your congregations?
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Pressures to Serve
Thank you to Kathy F. for this question.
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A couple of things come to mind: would Dan be willing to mention, instead of the cancelling of SS, the need for a replacement teacher? Jon did that for our previous SS superintendent not too long ago. She loved it but was getting burned out and saw it affecting her work. Jon told her to take the time off, that another leader would step forward. And he was right. One did come out of the woodwork after a while, a man in fact! Nice change of pace. Anyway, in your case if Dan made it known that one of the teachers feels the need for a break, to be fed instead of feeding, would someone step in to help this other lady who occasionally helps you now?
ReplyDeleteMy other thought was this: it sounds like you really miss being in Adult class, being fed. You might consider giving up the chime choir so that when you get help from the other lady you can be fed..instead of feeding. Make sense? And it is okay to quit, Kathy. It's ok to say, "I can't do it all." And the kids will be fine without the chime choir. Maybe, just maybe, that when the congregation sees you stepping back it might cause them to step forward. It's worth some prayer. I hope you figure something out soon. And I'll remember you in my prayers.
thanks Jenny for your suggestion...I will pose that to Dan....I like the wording of it. As for the chime choir...we only just started that, and I really want to keep it going...these chimes were a memeorial gift and have hardly been used...but I was the one to "push" that choice over something else...so feel like I ought to be (and I want to be) the one to direct. Maybe I can come up with a different time to practice. Thanks for the encouragement.
ReplyDeleteMy spin on this issue is a bit different. When my husband started his ministry I consciously chose one area of church service where I might take an active role, even serving as chairwoman at times. This happened to be an area where I had some specific gifts and I would have chosen to pursue this in any church, even if I wasn't married to the pastor.
ReplyDeleteIt's been my experience that when the pastor wife consistently steps up to fill unmet needs then the parishoners step back. I'm not sure if this happens because parishoners perceive that the pastor and his wife constitute some super-ministry power (that's not us) or if perhaps parishoners feel they couldn't possibly measure up (again, so not a problem). Leaving vacant positions vacant can allow others to discover gifts they can bring to the table.
If your decision not to teach Sunday School were to preclude your children from having Sunday School then I'd just pack them up and take them to adult bible class with you (speaking from experience, this plan worked out fine).
It's a given that pastor's wives (and their kids) have a church-going experience that is unique. I'm not sure how I could get anything out of worship if I was drawn in so many directions on Sunday mornings. I hope your congregation fully appreciates you. You deserve a break!
I heard a pastor say once that a pastor's wife should only be asked to do things that any congregation member would be asked to do. If she doesn't feel comfortable taking on a task, then she should feel no pressure to do it just because she's the pastor's wife. I like that thinking. My role as a member is not elevated just because I'm married to the pastor; I'm a sinner in need of forgiveness just like those who sit beside me in the pew.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this applies to you, Kathy, but we had a high schooler who was willing to teach the younger grades (1st & 2nd). She didn't feel comfortable attending adult bible class like some of the others and wanted to continue coming to church. Mark had confirmed her and knew her to be responsible and mature for her age. We were pleased to have her help, especially since her parents are inactive members.
ReplyDeleteAnother time we had a young mother who was new in the faith and was catechized by Mark. He asked her if she would be willing to teach the younger grades as an opportunity to learn the bible stories that she had missed in her youth. She had two of her own that she would bring to Sunday school. She was willing to do this. I don't think she would have even considered it if she hadn't been asked by Pastor. He was there to help her with questions she would have. It ended up being very good for her and the kids.
I sympathize with your desire to attend adult bible class. I taught Sunday school for five years and by then our older two were both in adult bible class. I was missing "being fed", so stepped back from teaching and now just lead the music for Sunday school opening. Even though I walk in 15-20 min. late, it's much better than missing it altogether.
I don't think there is anything wrong with putting the program on hold until new leaders emerge. You take the break when you need it and trust that new leadersip will step forward!
Thank you, Kathy, for posting this. I've been struggling a lot with this very issue -- we've had a "hit or miss" Sunday School for the last few years after the long-serving SS superintendent resigned. A few young moms stepped up last fall, and things looked promising--SS was moved to after the service, and we had 10 kids, mostly preschool and 3-4 grade, coming consistently for a few months. I stepped in then to teach the older ones, and now the moms have gotten inconsistent and I've found myself the only one around on most Sundays. I think we'll have to let it die, so to speak, before things change. I appreciate your thought, Kristi, about not expecting the pastor's wife to do more than a member; I also appreciate Anon's comment about getting pulled in too many directions on Sunday. Our children are almost too young for SS; I need to pray for comfort that they'll be okay if they don't have SS time for a few years. We do the catechism and Bible stories every day at home, anyway.
ReplyDeleteThanks, everybody, for sharing your experiences! It's so good to hear what other wives have done and do in this!
I like Beth's comment about putting the program on hold until new leaders emerge. My big fear is that nobody will step forward, and then who suffers, but the children?
ReplyDeletethat is my fear too, Kristi. How long does one wait for someone to step up before returning to teaching because you don't want the kids to go without.
ReplyDelete