Independence Day! - From Kathy F.

Kathy writes:

I was getting my haircut the other day when my haircutting friend said something about teaching her 8th grade daughter to do the laundry. My response to her was that my 3 kids know how to do the laundry too...at which I was glad she had put the scissors down...because she could have easily chopped a extra chunk out as her mouth almost dropped to the floor...she knows my 3 children are ages 7, 9 and 11. "YOUR children do the laundry????" At that point I realized just how important it is to teach our children skills they will use for the rest of their lives.

We are getting ready for an almost 3 week vacation starting July 5th and it is times like this when I am thankful that I have taught my children some life skills that have not only made them INDEPENDENT, but also helpful and more self confident. They will be doing their own laundry and packing their own suitcases (with an inspection by mom before it all goes in the bag), just for starters.

Whenever I take the time to teach them a skill that is useful, I can almost physically see their confidence, self-value, and perceived worth to the family increase. They are capable, they can help, they can be trusted with this task, that up until this point was done only by an adult. They are INDEPENDENT.

Does it take more time and energy to teach than to do? This IS most certainly true (spoken by a true Lutheran Pastor's wife), It is more trouble, and possible more dangerous...will they hurt themselves, will something break, will the kitchen be a BIG mess...yes, yes, and yes. But in the long run, it is so worth every mess and every extra minute it took to train them.

We get so used to doing things for our infants, toddlers and small children, that when our kids get to be school age we just keep doing things for them...this is not only bad for us (we simply can't do everything required of us everyday), but it is also not good for the children.

So what do my 7, 9 and 11 year old do around the house? Well let me start by saying it's not done perfectly...or the way I would do it..or as often as I would like....but it is done. My kids do their own laundry from start to finish...from dirty laundry basket to their drawers and closets when clean. Hannah is learning to make some very basic meals and this week she will learn how to make bread in our bread machine. All 3 kids can make coffee. Each child weeds and cares for their own squares in the garden. Of course cleaning their rooms is in there. They also all know how to run the vacuum, make their bed (not just pulling up the blankets, but actually washing their own sheets and then replacing them on the bed....the person on the top bunk gets a little extra help). Collecting and taking out the trash, cleaning the mirrors and bathrooms sinks are all done here too.

I have discovered one simple trick to making the kids excited about doing these things...they are no longer called chores...but rather privileges. It is a privilege to run the washing machine, the bread maker and coffee pot.

When they see how much their contribution is a blessing to our family, and they get praise for their efforts, they are so willing to help....most of the time. I read recently this quote and I have decided to adopt this philosophy:

Whenever a child can do for himself (or others who cannot), he should do.

Maybe it is time, for their own good, and yours, to allow them the thrill of being useful and capable.