Care for Us

A pastor's wife writes:

It’s almost midnight and he just left.
I should be sleeping, alone, but instead I am here at my computer with my questions.
God has heard them before, but I ask again:

Why ,God, would you do some miracles for this woman, and then just… not?
Why, God?

I ache for the family suffering out there, where pastor-daddy is. (Care for them,
Father.) I ache for the family here, too, where pastor-daddy is not.

I was the one who read the bedtime stories, said the prayers, and tucked the covered
tightly around the children. They nodded brave faces when I told them that daddy had
to go "be with the sad family" yet again. That's why our plans changed tonight. Yes, I
know he has been gone a lot lately. I miss him, too.

I respect and support this man, and the work God does through him, but that doesn't
mean it isn't hard.

The children do not understand why dark hospital rooms win out over family nights,
but for a pastor, they do, they must. I spare them the details of the sad situation he
faces in the hospital.

They say goodnights without complaint, except for one boy. He cries quietly into
his pillow. When I lean over to kiss him, he clings tightly to my robe, and I hear his
muffled confession, "Mommy, I wish that daddy was something other than a pastor."

Father, what am I to say to this child?

You have promised to be with us always, even in times of suffering. Help your child,
the one who is called to be a pastor to the sad family, because I can see the weariness
in his eyes, and I cannot help him. Uphold him, Father.

And help your child's other children, the little ones who share in the suffering through
tiny sacrifices, the little ones who do not understand. Care for them through other
hands when daddy is away-- through mine, through your Word, through your other
children. Care for their little hearts, that they may learn to lean on you in times of
trial.

The needs are here are more than I can meet, Father.

Care for them, Father.
Care for all of us.
Amen.

Tend to Me: Devotions for Mothers

I just received an email from Emily Cook to let all know that her second book, Tend to Me: Devotions for Mothers, is now available!

Emily is a pastor's wife and mother of six. She knows sin and God's Grace and always points her readers to Christ, so I'm really looking forward to this book.

I was blessed by and recommend reading her previous book, Weak and Loved: A Mother-Daughter Love Story also Ifind much wisdom and encouragement through her blog, Weak and Loved.

And to let you know, Emily will be giving all the profits from her book to the ministry she writes about below:

I am excited to announce that all profits from this book of devotions will be given to Project 24, a mercy project helping orphans in Kenya.  Read why here, and learn more about Project 24 here.  This project is near and dear to my heart. 

Writing is one of my joys, as you know.  

I write because the flowers grow,

because grace showers down on me

and I am compelled to gather it up in words.

Living, Daring Confidence

"Faith, however, is a divine work in us that change us and makes us to be born a new of God. It kills the old Adam and makes us altogether different men, in heart and spirit and mind and powers; it brings with it the Holy Spirit.

Faith is a living, daring confidence in God's grace so sure and certain that the believer would stake his life on it a thousand times. This knowledge of and confidence in Gods grace makes men glad and bold and happy in dealing with God and all creatures.

And this is the work that the Holy Spirit performs in faith. Because of it, without compulsion, a person is ready and glad to do good to everyone, to serve everyone, to suffer everything, out of love and praise to God who has shown him this grace."  Martin Luther

As I live and breath in this body I am minute by minute reminded of how sinful I am and really I minute by minute ignore how sinful I am. I can say "I see my sin" but there are many many sins I choose not to see, worse I deny.

I don't know how many other vocations will reveal your sin to you the way being a parent will. The dying, the humiliation of it. The constant servitude. The demand to stop what I want and give. Give my time, my attention, my care, my love. And how often do I willing give any of these things? How much more often do I give them begrudgingly, or out of guilt or just not at all?

I cling like a nasty spoiled brat to my SELF, my WILL and say NO I will not love you right now. And when we get this honest with ourselves we see the worse part, the anger of it all and the pride. I'm angry that I'm needed, I'm angry that I can't do what I want when I want all day.

But as a child of God, I'm not supposed to be this way right? Why can't I gladly serve and suffer? Questions for better Theologians than I.

What am I supposed to do then?

I think I'm slowly learning the answer to that and the answer humbles and frustrates and relieves all at once. It's all a poor miserable beggar can do, repent and be forgiven, repent and be forgiven, repent and be forgiven.

In that is the faith that Luther speaks of, the "living daring confidence in God's grace". Apart from that we are all doomed.

Lord help us to live confidently in your Grace.

Update on Baby Ephraim

Just wanted to let all here know that Ephraim was hospitalized yesterday with moderate dehydration and more weight loss but we are very pleased with the improvement we are seeing today. After fluids and some potassium, he is not only looking so much better but he is also finally starting to make more "normal" diapers. I'll spare you the details, but just say I've never been more excited about poop in my life!

Thanks be to God for His gifts of doctors, medicine and the love of friends and family. Please continue to pray for Ephraim as we move toward the possibility of taking him back home and figuring out how to keep him on the mend.

Welcome Baby Ephraim

 Announcing my newest blessing, Ephraim Job, born Saturday, October 20th! He's a little peanut, just 18 inches, and weighed 7lb 2oz.

Big brother and sisters are gaga about him, Clara too, though she looks like she couldn't care less. (She thought I was having two babies and keeps looking for "the other one".)

Ephraim will be baptized this Sunday. Praise be to God!

Church Meetings

Emily O. writes:

I don't know about you, but I tend to dread church meetings, typically Voters' Meetings. They loom on the calendar like infrared targets ripe for a sudden and terrible strike. As the day approaches, the tension rises and the pressure increases until I feel like an overfilled balloon. And I don't even personally attend any meetings at church!

While my description of meetings is dramatic, the truth is that church members and pastors are sinners, and whenever sinners get together, they tend to, well, sin. Depending on the church and the dynamics thereof, people exhibit and/or experience volatility when congregating together (I would even venture a guess that there's more fireworks in church meetings than in many other places, and not the kind that make people "oooh" and "aaah" with pleasure). And this is a sad reality of life together as God's people. We get mad, we get frustrated, we say mean and hurtful things. We get quiet and brooding and sullen. We harbor malice. We reject the mercy that God has given us in Christ and so reject our neighbors.

Sometimes anger is righteous. But too often, bitterness reigns. The balance is so difficult to keep, whether you're a layperson who's given decades of service to the church or whether you're a pastor's wife.

But thanks be to Him who saved us--and still saves us--from ourselves. He forgives our biting words, our sarcastic asides, our wrong assumptions and conclusions, our hateful thoughts. And--miracle of miracles--He comes again to meet us in each Divine Service, to serve us perfectly, to grant us forgiveness and to give us peace. I still won't be attending Voters' Meetings anytime soon, but I'm thankful that there's always a Christ-meeting just around the corner. 

Blessed Holy Cross Day

In the cross of Christ I glory,
Towering o’er the wrecks of time;
All the light of sacred story
Gathers round its head sublime.

When the woes of life o’ertake me,
Hopes deceive, and fears annoy,
Never shall the cross forsake me,
Lo! it glows with peace and joy.

When the sun of bliss is beaming
Light and love upon my way,
From the cross the radiance streaming
Adds more luster to the day.

Bane and blessing, pain and pleasure,
By the cross are sanctified;
Peace is there that knows no measure,
Joys that through all time abide.

In the cross of Christ I glory,
Towering o’er the wrecks of time;
All the light of sacred story
Gathers round its head sublime.

In the Cross of Christ I Glory

Listen to tune HERE 

“Merciful God, Your Son, Jesus Christ, was lifted high upon the cross that He might bear the sins of the world and draw all people to Himself. Grant that we who glory in His death for our redemption may faithfully heed His call to bear the cross and follow Him. Amen.”

From Treasury of Daily Prayer for Holy Cross Day

Image Jan Sadeler