Jenny writes:
I hope to get a discussion going as a follow up to my Mrs. Hyde post.
About a week ago, she reared her ugly head again and that really bothers me. She is kept contained within my own head, and heart, but I need to give her a voice and this is the safest place to do so.
The boys have been known to ask me, "Is daddy gone tonight AGAIN?" And as one sets the table, it's not uncommon for him to ask me, "Will dad be home for supper tonight?" I don't like hearing those questions. I know they must be asked, but no matter how many Bible studies the people ask for, or how long they keep Pastor after the closing prayer, doesn't it eventually get to the point where I get to say, "NO MORE!"
I am not looking for my problems to be solved. They are not terrible. Jon and I have many good discussions, so please, no worries there! I just want to see us share some experiences and ideas. Sound good?
What I'd like to hear about is how you ladies guard your families. How do you guard your time together? How do you guard your husbands' day off? How do you impress upon your husbands the importance of time with family without sounding selfish, keeping in mind the importance of his calling?
I appreciate your thoughts in this matter. I believe, after decades of being a pastor's wife, that it is my husband's responsibility to "guard" his day off. It is his responsibility to honor our marriage and family enough to set boundaries with the parish family. Our congregation has learned from my husband's modeling that family time is sacred. It is our hope that this is imprinted upon them and carried into their households. That being said, assuming he is in town and not ill, he has never missed a sick call, a service, a bible study or a meeting. How has he done this for 30 years? By setting loving yet firm boundaries. The church respects him for it. Our adult and teen children are still all active in church and so I must assume that they also respect him for it. Is he always popular with each church member? Probably not. Yet he is respected in the church and our community.
ReplyDeleteI have witnessed some scenarios wherein a Pastor falsely assumes that no one else can do all that he does in the church. Are some of those tasks ones that can be delegated? Are the elders doing all that they can to take on the "administrative tasks" that can be shared? Just food for thought. God's Blessings in this journey.
Thank you for you thoughts and experiences on this topic. I really appreciate it!
DeleteJenny