"Faith, however, is a divine work in us that change us and
makes us to be born a new of God. It kills the old Adam and makes us
altogether different men, in heart and spirit and mind and powers; it
brings with it the Holy Spirit.
Faith is a living, daring
confidence in God's grace so sure and certain that the believer would
stake his life on it a thousand times. This knowledge of and confidence
in Gods grace makes men glad and bold and happy in dealing with God and
all creatures.
And this is the work that the Holy Spirit performs in
faith. Because of it, without compulsion, a person is ready and glad to
do good to everyone, to serve everyone, to suffer everything, out of
love and praise to God who has shown him this grace." Martin Luther
As I live and breath in this body I am minute by minute reminded of how
sinful I am and really I minute by minute
ignore how sinful I am. I can
say "I see my sin" but there are many many sins I choose not to see,
worse I deny.
I don't know how many other vocations will reveal your sin
to you the way being a parent will. The dying, the humiliation of it.
The constant servitude. The demand to stop what I want and give. Give my
time, my attention, my care, my love. And how often do I willing give
any of these things? How much more often do I give them begrudgingly, or
out of guilt or just not at all?
I cling like a nasty spoiled brat to
my SELF, my WILL and say NO I will not love you right now. And when we
get this honest with ourselves we see the worse part, the anger of it
all and the pride. I'm angry that I'm needed, I'm angry that I can't do
what I want when I want all day.
But as a child of God, I'm not supposed to be this way right? Why can't I gladly serve and suffer? Questions for better Theologians than I.
What am I supposed to do then?
I think I'm
slowly learning the answer to that and the answer humbles and
frustrates and relieves all at once. It's all a poor miserable beggar
can do, repent and be forgiven, repent and be forgiven, repent and be
forgiven.
In that is the faith that Luther speaks of, the "living daring confidence in God's grace". Apart from that we are all doomed.
Lord help us to live confidently in your Grace.