Jenny writes:
Are you familiar with this old story by
Robert Louis Stevenson? Dr. Jekyll invents a potion in an attempt to
hide the evil desires within himself with which he has been battling
for years. But to his horror the potion transforms him into Mr.
Hyde, giving the evil desires full reign.
Sometimes, as the
wife of the pastor, I feel a bit like this twisted character. The
“real me” is so very proud of my husband; of the studying he’s
done and continues to do; of the work he so tirelessly goes after.
He upholds the Office of the Holy Ministry very well, thank you very
much! I’m sure you feel the same about your husbands. What a
blessing isn’t it, to have the privilege to know these men?
I
willingly share him with the people of the congregation, knowing that
the Lord’s work needs to be done. People want his ministry so I
release him to be “over there” at any and all times. Bible
studies need to be written and prepared, sermons need to be
researched and written, people need counselling, couples need to be
married, widows need to be visited, meetings need to be attended, and
the list goes on, right? I know it must happen and for the better
part of the day, of the week even, I don’t miss him. He’s at
work and I’m at work. We are busy with our callings, doing the
Lord’s bidding.
But then he is asked to visit Africa
with his father. He will be gone almost three weeks. He will miss
two Sundays and five Tuesday/Thursday Matins services. The catch is
that he will be home on Wednesday, meaning he should be able to have
Matins on the following Thursday. But he cancels it, knowing he will
miss six Matins services. He was told by his Board of Elders to take
the rest of the homecoming week off – to be with family – to
recover from jet lag. I love the Board of Elders!
Sunday morning comes
and we are all in church again. The congregation is happy to have
their shepherd back. I am happy to have my husband back. My
children are happy to have their father back. But there are a few
who never miss Matins. Ever. And they are not happy. I feel Mrs.
Hyde beginning to bubble under the surface.
“I was going to have a
welcome home party for him and he didn’t even have Matins.”
I
smile, understanding her disappointment. Mrs. Hyde continues to
bubble.
“I hate being away from Matins so long. Why did he cancel
it?”
I try to explain in a gentle way while Mrs. Hyde wants to
raise her voice and say, “Because he’s been away from his wife
and sons for over two weeks!!”
She shakes
her head in disbelief. “Well I just don’t understand. I had a
bon voyage party for him and I planned to have a welcome home party
for him.”
Her lips purse as she walks away. Mrs. Hyde is not
happy. Another member tells me how many times she will be away from
her shepherd over the summer, what with all of his trips and the
times she has to be gone. I listen sympathetically. Inside, Mrs.
Hyde is now screaming, “What about your shepherd’s family?!
Why are you people so selfish? Can you not understand how much of
him we share already? Why must you steal away the time he is to
spend with us?!” *sigh*
It can be a bit unnerving, dealing with
this “Mrs. Hyde.” I love the members of our congregation. We
have had, in the past, some difficult congregations to deal with.
Most members have been anything but kind. The selfishness was par
for the course. After three years of being in the midst of these
loving Christians, I guess I was taken aback by their disappointment;
by the upset in their schedule and how they vocalized it so
matter-of-factly.
Just goes to show me that no one is free from the temptations of the Devil. Everyone is self-centered. Even the most faithful Dr. Jekyll can have a selfish Hyde within.
Just goes to show me that no one is free from the temptations of the Devil. Everyone is self-centered. Even the most faithful Dr. Jekyll can have a selfish Hyde within.
